ICU, Intubation, PEG, MRSA

I finally find the time and (guts to face the painfully memories )to complete this post...

Danielle spent 12 days in children ICU in Dec 2008. She was on high BiPAP settings and was intubated. The intubation experience was a terrifying one. Danielle could not hear herself cry and I could see how fearful she was. Intubation is needed to help Danielle breathe as she is too weak to breathe on her own. The bad side of intubation is she will need a tracheostomy if she cannot be extube.

I was so worn out by the multiple hospital admissions and Danielle’s degenerating condition, that I am near to giving up this little life. I almost want to stop the intubation process because I want to stop the pain on both Danielle and me…I could not go on… Then God gave me Ecclesiastes 11 and told me that when there is breathe, we gotta help the fragile life to keep going. Jesus became very real to me from this day on.

While Danielle is intubated, the medical team suggested we should consider getting Danielle's PEG done. Danielle was intubated due to a bad reflux and a PEG will help to minimise the risk of getting another reflux. The condition of doing the surgery was Danielle must be ready for extubation. Eventhough doing the PEG in this intubation will save Dan from getting into another time of intubation. I wasn't keen on going into something when Dan is fighting her might to breathe and live. I wasn't sure if it is a right decision to do the PEG at this time as the line to is so grey. My hubby and I were like headless chicken running around and both of us were overwhelmed with making another tough decision in the same week. By God's grace, God speaks to us again. He sent 2 confirmations. One was through a Daddy whose child was 2 beds away from Danielle. His child has another rare disorder and stay in ICU for over a year. He said something I will never forget: He asked for 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc opinions, and the more he asked, the more confused is he. All we need to do is trust that Jesus knows best, He is in control.The other was through Dr Lee. He gave us special insights. Thank God after one week and a half, Dan is ready for extubation. My heart was filled with joy, but it was short lived. While waiting for her scheduled surgery, she had MRSA colonization and was isolated. Looking on the bright side, we have the room all by ourselves. In ICU 4-bedded ward, whenever there is a new patient or a procedure needs to be carry out, all visitors including the parents had to leave the room. What a pain in the neck when we are all emotionally worn out and all we want to do is stay beside Dan's bed. We were certainly frightened by the consequences of going for the operation with MRSA found in Dan's swap test. If MRSA gets into Dan's blood and infected the wound, we can lost her from the infection. God did a miracle to confirmed it is His will to have the surgery done. B4 the surgery a MRSA test is done again, this time MRSA is gone! It's a miracle coz no anti-botics can remove it. Once you have MRSA... it is always with you. What a confirmation! It is the first miracle I experienced in my journey with Dan...I know there will be more to come.